#''I based his design off a character who is the epitome of cute and cool to me'' REAL AND AWESOME

[heartbeetz]

Every time my jazzton art gets a bunch of tags calling it/us "cute" I go yayyyayay. Showing those tags to him inside my mind. The cutie ♡♡♡

Also throwback to these tweets from the game's creator. Never forget them.

[lightofthedeep]

who are your favorite top ten black clover characters and ships? talk about them!

Well that’s going to be a long list! I’ll state a simplified list and elaborate in the cut then!

Favorite Characters: 

Leopold Vermillion

Finral Roulacase

Langris Vaude

Yuno

Asta

Rill Boismortier 

Fuegeoleon Vermillion

William Vangeance

Mereoleona Vermillion

Dorothy Unsworth

Favorite Ships:

YunoLeo

AsuNoe / Astelle

YamiChar

Mars/Fana

Rillmy

Nozel/Dorothy

WiriPatri

YamiWiri 

Klaus/Letoile

I have no other ships so I’m going for Finral x Light 

Favorite Characters

Wow my favorite character lists is really not that diverse. Vermillion + Captain supremacy. 

1. Leopold Vermillion

Where to begin with Leo? If you can’t tell by my Black Clover fanart being 80% Leopold, you’d know that I am iN LOVE WITH THIS KID AND HIS CHARACTER. I adore Leopold so much it’s such a shame that he doesn’t get as much screen time as he should because he has so much potential. His fiery, energetic, loud personality just sticks out to me. I could go more in detail but I’ll spare them to make this post shorter.

2. Finral Roulacase

WHERE TO BEGIN WITH FINRAL? I am absolutely in love with this man JAOISJDOAIOEHAO. Finral really resonates with me since I feel a connection with him through his low self-worth and his struggles with being an older sibling. Other than that, I absolutely adore him so much. He’s such a cutie and I love all of his comedic moments and how hard working he is sm. 

3. Langris Vaude

This goes to show how much I just love the space brothers. Langris is such a complex character and I LOVE his relationship with Finral. Of course, a lot of people are really quick to hate on Langris-- and rightfully so. But examining his character, it definitely shows reason (but def not excuses) to why Langris acts the way he does. 

4. Yuno

I just straight up adore Yuno. I love his stoic, cold character and his reasons for it. He could have his comedic moments which is quite hilarious to say the very least. I do wish we would know more about his experiences in the Golden Dawn though since I feel like even though he’s a main character, we hardly know anything about him. But he is just as hardworking as Asta and I love how healthy his rivalry with Asta is.

5. Asta

Asta is what the cool kids call, “the GOAT.” I absolutely love his character and his role as the MC of the series. I think Tabata writes his character really well. I love how he always picks himself back up, despite literally the entire world being against him. I think Asta is very inspirational and hands down one of my favorite shonen protagonists. He is very underrated and it pains me to see him downgraded to someone who screams a lot since he really doesn’t scream that much past the beginning. (I personally found his screaming endearing!)

6. Rill Boismortier

RILL IS MY FAVORITE CAPTAIN AAAAA! HE IS SO CUTE! As an artist, I absolutely adore his magic! I just love everything about him; his carefree attitude, his entire design, his laugh, everything!

7. Fuegeoleon Vermillion

King Vermillion, everyone! I just have a soft spot for the Vermillions. I love how strong Fuego is! He’s such a kind-hearted person with such a strong will! I’m super glad he has Salamander by his side because he deserves it!!!!!!!!!!! Out of everyone, I’m hoping he’ll be the next wizard king. 

8. William Vangeance

You know what’s funny? I didn’t know people actually hated Vangeance until I encountered BC twitter lmao. But I love Vangeance so much. He’s another huge, complex character that people seem to either hate him or love him. His characters throughout the entire series plays such a huge role and I love that. 

9. Mereoleona Vermillion

QUEEN VERMILLION! I just love how she isn’t your typical magic knight and she just does her own thing! She is the epitome of powerful woman and she is hands down, imo, the strongest captain. 

10. Dorothy Unsworth

oH MAN??? GLAMOUR WORLD? ARE YOU KIDDING? Her entire character is phenomenal. From her design, to her magic, to her personality, she just screams perfection. I do wish to know more about her soon, though we got a glimpse of it when she was talking to Noelle about Megicula!

Favorite Ships

If I’m being honest, I really only have a top 3? But the only ship I’m actually passionate about is yunoleo so--

1. YunoLeo

If you’re new to my account, you’d definitely find this ship to be a surprise. It actually wasn’t a ship I thought about until my friend Himae and I were joking talking about Yuno and Leo and then went “holy shit wait---” The relationship of YunoLeo is all about POTENTIAL since the two have not interacted much in canon. But, I can’t stress enough how perfect I think Yuno and Leo would be together. They would definitely go into the “rivals-to-lovers” and “opposites attract” tropes. Not to mention, my personal headcanon for both of them is that they’re both gay.  I believe if Tabata were to allow Yuno and Leopold to interact more, it would definitely show the potential they would have together. I could elaborate more in detail but I think this post would be way too long. 

2. AsuNoe / Astelle

Out of everyone in the “Asta harem,” I tend to like AsuNoe more, surprisingly. I feel like I’m not quite used to shipping the main MCs together, let alone the MC with the tsundere female MC. However, I have a soft spot for Noelle. I feel like if her character wasn’t super revolved around her crush on Asta, they’d definitely flow better. I like how they interact. It’s quite obvious that Asta does care about Noelle as much as she does. But, as oblivious as Asta is, I don’t think they’ll get together anything soon LOL. I’m not super passionate about AsuNoe, but I do like them the most out of all the potential Asta ships. From them being teammates, there’s a lot of build-up that can occur, not to mention the huge canon influence.

3. YamiChar

Charlotte’s crush on Yami is the cutest thing ever. I just love the dynamic between her and Yami; Yami being oblivious to her feelings, but thinking Charlotte secretly hates him since she avoids him but Charlotte avoiding him because she’s actually super nervous. I don’t think that Yami has a romantic interest towards Charlotte in canon at the moment, but I do think he does like her. 

4. Mars/Fana

Pretty much canon, I don’t really have much to say about them aside from the fact that I hope they get married already!

5. Rillmy

OKAY RILLMY IS JUST SO CUTE. I definitely adore the idea of the two of them together! Their characters flow really well together and I really think they have potential! Maybe they’ll get more scenes together from this arc? I hope so!

6. Nozel/Dorothy

This ship is really cute to! Though we don’t actually see them interact in canon, the fact that Nozel and Dorothy seem to talk to each other a lot and Nozel being able to confide in Dorothy makes me go ohohoho.

7. WiriPatri

LITERAL SOULMATES. The fact that they were finally able to see one another makes my heart soar. The scene where Patri slowly falls against Vangeance’s shoulder as Vangeance holds him aaaAAAAAA FUCK. TOO GOOD. 

8. YamiWiri

Such a good “rivals-to-lovers” ship. They work so well together and they have SUCH a good, strong relationship. 

9. Klaus/Letoile

Okay listen, I ship them based off of purely aesthetics but like.... hello? Very good. They were in panels together in the manga! That’s enough canon validation for me LMAO.

10. Finral x Light 

canon. amazing. spectacular. all based off on the fact that i am in love with finral roulacase. 

[hummingbirdsaltimolockia]

I recently made a list of all the musicals I’m pretty familiar with and it came out to 63. and since my sisters won’t listen to my recommendations this is a masterpost of all those musicals with a few of my Thoughts and Opinions. this gets hella long so prepare yourself

-Les Miserables

ah, you never forget your first. I heard the symphonic recording when I was six? seven? so it has become the definitive version in my mind, but cast members (michael ball) are weak, and unfortch I haven’t come across a recording were all the cast members are top notch, though the 25th anniversary concert comes very close (norm lewis!! lea salonga!!)

-The Little Mermaid

ok so on the whole this show is not particularly great or interesting and honestly didn’t do very well on stage BUT hearing sherie rene scott sing poor unfortunate souls literally changed my life and is what really sparked my interest in musical theatre. also norm lewis is there

-The Band’s Visit

unlike any broadway musical you’ve heard fs. based on the movie of the same name, it’s about the egyptian police band being stranded in a middle-of-nowhere town in israel for in 1996. it’s a simple story but incredibly charming and ernest and surprsingly emotional. also the music is played onstage by the actors which is always cool!

-In the Heights

lin manuel miranda’s first musical and is honestly just as good as hamilton, if not better (I said what I said). it’s a slice of life kinda story about people living in washington heights. great music, great story, great characters, feels very real without being like....depressing.

-Aladdin

most of the songs from the movie stay mostly the same, I think they only changed arabian nights, and friend like me (which for the latter was a huuge improvement. I can’t NOT dance whenever I hear it. james monroe inglehart is a fantastic genie). and the flying carpet!! looks amazing!!

-Once on This Island

this story made me v mad initially (the female lead just. dies at the end), but I kept coming back to it because I loved the music, and it took me a while to figure out why and it’s because the caribbean island vibes are off the charts, and that reminds me of my childhood in sofl. and the vocals of the ensemble are amazing and the 2018 revival used a in the round stage with actual sand and live animals how cool is that

-She Loves Me

a super cute, super enjoyable, super fun musical based on the old film shop around the corner. zachery levi and laura benanti make some quality faces

-Next to Normal

oooof. a very intense show both in terms of theme and music. deals with bipolar depression, schizophrenia, drugs, suicide, hallucinations, death of a child....yeah. a very good show that handles all those heavy themes realistically

-Hamilton

so yeah when it first came out five years ago it was very hyped up and was called lin manuel’s “masterpiece” and when I listened to it I was like....dam they’re right. the lyrics and wording are so precise and having a story told by the protag’s enemy is so narratively juicey. plus the music is incredible (also listen to the hamilton mixtape if you haven’t it’s great)

-The Lion King

if you’ve followed me for any time you know I love the movie and the musical only makes it better. the songs, the music, the puppets, heather headley, the songs in zulu, the costumes...ugh perfection. the most successful disney show on broadway

-Aida

ever wonder what it’s like to be so darn good at singing that sir elton john writes a musical for you? well that’s what happened to heather headley and she completely deserved it. it’s a bit problematic in that the egyptian conquerors are all white and all the nubia slaves are black and like....they’re both in africa dude

-Anastasia

ok so I know it didn’t happen but the premise is so compelling and so gd tragic and christy altomare’s voice has such a fragility to it which is such a contrast to who anastasia actually was and the show features a song about russian refugees having to flee their homeland and it’s like the saddest song I’ve ever heard

-Anything Goes

honestly this musical on the whole isn’t that great for some...reasons, but it does have some great Friendship songs and Great tap dancing and sutton foster is in it and she is the epitome of a triple threat

-Cinderella

honestly just watch the brandy version because it’s the best version. better than the broadway version for sure, even though laura osnes is fantastic in everything she does and the show does have an amazing onstage costume change, but the brandy version has the coolest cast and costume and sets

-Ragtime

ho boy. so much to unpack here. while I think this is a “good” musical, it is too long, has too many characters and storylines, and deals with some heavy themes but doesn’t handle them very well so by the end it’s just exhausting and disappointing. BUT it does have the incomparable brian stokes mitchell and audra mcdonald, who is literally the best performer to ever grace broadway

-Thoroughly Modern Millie

there is so much spirit in this show it’s infectious. also sutton foster

-Dear Evan Hanson

sigh. so this musical gained a lot popularity among the Young People and...it..didn’t...deserve it? like again it deals with heavy issues like social anxiety, depression, and suicide, but like ragtime it doesn’t handle them very well; not in an honest way. and like everything they talk about is handled better in next to normal so

-Tuck Everlasting

based on the book, not the movie. the music is something really different and I don’t think broadway was ready to accept it so it didn’t run very long. and the adaption isn’t very strong, but the lead (sarah charles lewis) is very good and it does have a very sad song about miles losing his family

-Come From Away

so this is about the 38 planes that were diverted to a small town in newfoundland on 9/11. now with as much as america loves to talk about 9/11 I had never heard this story so it was cool to hear a different side of it. also it has a song that makes me tear up every time I hear it

-Annie

not much to say about this one. a classic

-Oklahoma!

speaking of classics, if you think this musical is boring and outdated, please listen to the 2019 revival. it rocks in every sense of the word

-West Side Story

this one is also a classic, and often called a masterpiece for good reason. the music is so strong and is integrated so well and it represents the characters on both sides. this video explains it really well. tho productions consistently have trouble finding puerto rican actors to play the puerto ricans....

-Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812

this one deserved sooo much more than it got, coming out in the same year as dear shmevan shmhanson. the lighting and set design is incredible and the music reflects each character’s emotion so it feels really honest, and almost like a supporting character. it’s so good guys. it has josh groban in a fat suit

-The Phantom of the Opera

unpopular opinion (maybe): I think gerard butler was a really good phantom. probably andrew llyod webber’s best work

-Waitress

based on the film of the same name, also the first broadway show with an entirely female creative team. also what baking can do came after my entire life

-Hello Dolly!

I fell in love with the movie version with barbra streisand, but then I learned that the original broadway production had a all black cast which is awesome but wasn’t reflected at all in the movie and that’s disappointing. great show tho

-Wicked

I can distinctly remember the first time I heard the ending crescendo of defying gravity. and the fact that it has so quickly become classic staple of broadway is a testiment to how strong it is

-You’re a Good Man Charlie Brown

yes there is a broadway show of charlie brown. the songs are funny and childlike and honest, and very ernest. also kristin chenoweth is hilarious as sally brown (she won a tony for it!)

-Chess

I love the music in the show, and some songs have very complex lyrics but the main character is kinda annoying. like yeah dude deserting your country with another woman and leaving your wife and kids behind is gonna have negative consequences. don’t know what to tell you

-Finding Neverland

not as good as the movie it’s based on. while some of the music is very pretty, the songs are pretty simple and kinda boring

-Venice

ok this show also isn’t very good, the character’s motivations are not clear, especially the villain, and the female lead’s songs are weak. but the premise and some of the songs are arresting, and I kept coming back to them

-The King and I

like wws, it took a very long time for a production to cast this show accurately, and it still hasn’t....quite done it. but the songs are very beautiful. r&h strike again.

-Matilda

features a bunch of v talented children and manages to be lighthearted but also really gets you. just listen to when I grow up

-Little Women

on the whole, not a great adaption. some good songs. sutton foster is great

-Bonnie and Clyde

oh boy you want some bad guy songs? how bout a whole musical of them? oh no the public hated us and we closed after 36 performances. ah well. at least laura osnes got her first tony nod

-Beetlejuice

very catchy show with a killer aesthetic. give alex brightman a tony just for being Like That

-Hadestown

this show has such nice lyrical rhythm, even in the spoken words, and it is so smartly composed and balanced. and even tho the broadway cast recording is out, it’s worth it to listen to the earlier album as well

-Catch Me If You Can

based on the film. just two hours of aaron tveit being a little brat and norbert leo butz flexing on everyone else’s vocal chords

-Miss Saigon

an extremely problematic and infuriating show that is unfortunately very beautiful. introduced lea salonga to the world, so that’s good at least

-The Hunchback of Notre Dame

speaking of problematic but beautiful shows. exceeds the movie in my opinion. the choral vocals just cut right through you

-The Fiddler on the Roof

I listened to the 2016 revival after not listening to this show for years and you know what? it’s really good! like heck!

-Mean Girls

yes they made a musical of mean girls. yes it’s pretty great. regina has a killer song near the end that I love to belt out

-Bandstand

one of the only musicals to make me cry actual tears just from listening to one (1) song. it’s about WWII veterans coming together to form a band just months after the war ends. also laura osnes fricking kills it in the last number

-Into the Woods

I’m not a huge fan of “fairy tales but make it realistic and therefore disappointing” but stephen sondheim is a very good writer and musician so it’s worth checking out. and the witch is played by bernadette peters in the musical and meryl streep in the movie so it’s a win both ways

-How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying

what it says on the can. a very fun, ‘don’t take this too seriously’ show. the lead was played by daniel radcliffe and nick jonas at one point so like. come on

-The Last Five Years

honestly this is a very depressing show, but it’s told in a interesting way. it’s about a couple who meet, fall in love, get married, drift apart, and ultimately get divorced, but not in that order

-Newsies

ok so the broadway version is very different from the movie, but it’s still worth checking out! the new verse at the beginning of seize the day makes it worth it!

-Legally Blonde

yes they made a musical of legally blonde. yes it’s great

-Daddy Long Legs

a little known musical about a young woman who is aging out of an orphanage and finds out she is being sent to school by a mysterious benefactor. meghan mcginnis has super sweet voice

-My Fair Lady

another problematic show about a british asshole who takes it upon himself to turn a flower girl into a “proper lady” (no one asked you to do that dude). but it is funny

-South Pacific

ok so I’m not actually super familiar with this show but it does have a very important song called you’ve got to be carefully taught about how racism is not “something you’re just born” so stop making excuses nellie

-Once

again I’m not super knowledgeable about this show, I’ve listened to it a few times, and read the wiki summary but I still don’t quite know what it’s about. but the music is really good, really different from a traditional broadway show. very enticing and sentimental

-Beauty and the Beast

I think this was the first disney movie that made it to broadway? I could be wrong. like hunchback, I think it exceeds the movie, esp if I can’t love her??? shoutout to my sister’s friend for blowing my socks off with that song in 2005

-Six

not a full blown production, just a rock show about the six wives of henry viii. I thought it would be like riding off the hamilton craze of “history but make it cool” but it actually kicks ass all by itself

-The Sound of Music

another classic, and edelweiss makes me emotional

-Billy Elliot

ahh this show has so much tangible emotion in it and it’s heavy but children are it and they carry it so well and the juxtaposition of the protests an d the dancing UGH

-The Lightning Thief

yes the percy jackson musical! is good and enjoyable! doesn’t take itself seriously at all (as it shouldn’t) and the last two songs go so hard!

-The Music Man

this is imprinted into my brain because of my sister’s drama group and from that day on I have never known peace

-The Scarlet Pimpernel

based on the film of the same name, it’s really good, the opening number goes really hard, and it SHOULD be revived with laura osnes

-Oliver!

this show is....good..but it’s just too long. too many extra songs that don’t do anything

-Sussical

beautifully whimsical and heartfelt. features an array of suess characters and stories

-Moulin Rouge!

the cast album that came late year and it kicks ass. it keeps some of the songs that were featured in the movie, and brings in songs that have come out since the movie like shut up and dance, royals, and bad romance

-The Greatest Showman

so technically this isn’t a broadway show, but it’s going to be, and I think it will be much better as a stage show than a movie.

[letsliveblog]

Dragon Ball 011 - Your Death Machine Did Not Need To Be This Convoluted

I’ve been gone for a while, but I’m back!  Let’s liveblog Dragon Ball!

Ah, that’s right.  Last time, they were trapped in the dreaded Easily Escapable Room!  Let’s see what these world-renowned martial artists do when faced with their toughest enemy yet… a brick wall!

You guys aren’t even trying.

Mai.  Shu.  They have it on them, why on EARTH would they leave it in the car.

I watched you punch through these brick walls last episode.  I saw you do this.  Guys.  GUYS.

I know it’s not gonna happen, but I WANT it to.

This is just a nice little shot of the Pilafites.  Mai is so TALL.

This is why you guys are my favorite.

Yamcha and Goku finally try to punch through the wall, with disappointing results, which I can honestly forgive because then Goku makes this face.

Fist... lost to wall???

WHY THOUGH

Bulma casually disrespecting the new ruler of the universe, you go girl.

“Oh no, they took Bulma!!  One of us… probably liked her?  Right?”

(Goku liked her.  Tolerated her.)

“SWEET KARMIC JUSTICE THOU ART GOOD UNTO ME”

HA, betcha THAT got cut from the dub!

It’s going to be something childish and stupid, isn’t it.

Oh they are playing it up sooooo much as a sexual thing, it’s going to be something REALLY childish and stupid, isn’t it.

ADVANCED INTERROGATION TECHNIQUES

SHE’S NOT GONNA MAKE IT, SHE’S SURE TO CRACK

Okay but like, would he really make a bad emperor?  He tortures people by blowing them kisses, this is some Jelliah Jamb Land of Oz capital punishment right here.  We’re looking at a fairy tale utopia under this guy, just let him have this.

Also Mai can just up and marry me, omg.  (And look at Pilaf’s smug little blushy face, just let him have this.)

Yamcha is impressed with Bulma’s composure under EXTREME TORTURE.

When Bulma suggests some less… cutesy interrogation techniques, it is just too much for the Pilaf Pals.  “Toss her back in the cell, TOSS HER BACK IN THE CELL”

EXTREME, BRUTAL TORTURE

I feel like I should be taking more screenshots, but there is just nothing of visual interest going on in this episode.  The entire thing so far has been set in two tiny rooms with pretty static boring backgrounds of a brick wall, and a security monitor displaying brick walls.  This chapter was probably a lot more fun in the manga; being trapped in a tiny room doesn’t really translate entertainingly to animation.

Guess I’ll just screenshot cute faces ’til something happens.

Puar trying to escape the sleeping gas!  Cute?  Very.

Sleeping Yamcha.  Definitely cute.

Goku asleep on top of Yamcha.  The epitome of cute.

Pilaf falling victim to his own sleeping gas?  Not really cute so much as endearing, the little scamp.

Oh right, mortal peril and all that.

Mai checks between Yamcha’s legs for the balls.

An ominous shot of the full moon?  This is the were-monkey episode, isn’t it.

OH I HAVE BEEN PUMPED FOR THIS

First time in the show we get to see all the dragon balls gathered together!  This is a cool moment.

It cracks me up that they went out of their way to have this cool little case custom made JUST for this little reveal.  They don’t need this case.  They’re not going to keep the balls and display them or something, they literally just put them in there so they could take the lid off dramatically and show Pilaf.  I mean, I’m not knocking it.  They’ve got style.

Also, you went through all the trouble of getting a case for them but then you didn’t display them in numerical order??

Enjoy it, guys.  You earned this.  C:

Well no, you stole this.  But in my HEART you earned this.

Seriously, this is SUCH a cool moment.

Might want to make that wish reeeeal quick though, guys.  The protagonists are not gonna let you have this.  (Please though for real let them have this.)

No?  We’re just gonna keep staring?  Okay then, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.

“Quick Yamcha, check between your legs!”

In a crisis, Bulma goes to Goku.  Mainly because Oolong’s untrustworthy and she barely knows Yamcha and Puar, but still.  At the end of the day, this is THEIR adventure.

Yamcha found the dragon balls!  Oh wait, no, that’s just Bulma’s cleavage.  Tragically, this does not lead to an adorably concerned Puar moment.

Oh no.  Oh no oh no, that’s right, that was Gohan’s.  That was the thing you were projecting Gohan’s spirit onto.  Oh Goku.  Oh Goku.  :C  You weren’t gonna get to keep it, but oh Goku.  :C :C :C

I feel like she cares less about Pilaf’s potential world domination and more about the fact that SHE could have used that wish to get a boyfriend.  Though to be fair, Bulma put a LOT of work into gathering these things.  She went on a miserable road trip, lost all her possessions, almost died so many times…  Yeah, no, I feel you, girl.  That was your wish and you worked hard.

Surely even the Stealing Dragon Balls From all Over the World with Pilaf Brigade isn’t THAT stupid.  It’s gotta be leading them into another trap.  I note, with grudging acceptance, that they still haven’t explained why they couldn’t break out of THIS trap.  Seriously.  Why.  It’s BRICKS.  You broke them last episode, I am NOT LETTING THIS DIE.

Okay fine, yeah, they are that stupid.  It only makes me love them more.

Hey, why haven’t you made your wish yet?  Does it have to be outside?  Like, will the dragon just not show up if you’re inside a building?  Or if it did, would the building crush Shenron, or would Shenron break through the building?  I can totally see some important story arc of this series come to an abrupt and grisly end because they accidentally summoned Shenron indoors and the ensuing mass of dragon spewing forth rapidly into a tiny space crushed them all.

Spoilers, they get away.

You guys are supposed to be martial artists, what the heck.  I can see Mai getting away, but Pilaf and Shu have tiny legs, come on.

Pilaf controls the deathtraps in his castle with an electric keyboard, and that is so delightfully convoluted and unnecessary.

Pilaf has a giant pinball machine in his castle specifically to kill intruders, and I am convinced this is the first time he’s ever gotten to use it because seriously, who else even knows he lives out here?  The man has no enemies.  He probably just sat around one day like:

“Mai!  Shu!  When I’m the ruler of the world, there will probably be many assassination attempts on my life!  We need to booby trap the castle!”

“Yes sir, Emperor Pilaf!  We’ll start digging some spike pits and-“

“No no no, what we need is a GIANT PINBALL MACHINE.”

“Uh, sir, that’s-“

“That I can control with a PIANO.”

He doesn’t even play the piano, he’s just repeatedly slamming his hands down on the keyboard.

Indiana Jones’n it.

Look I just… the scope of this is just…

He built a giant labyrinth.  To kill the people who escaped the pinball machine.  He could have just built the pinball machine with no exits, but no.  He went the extra mile and built an exit to a giant labyrinth where the pinball would chase you down and actually follow you around corners.  He could have just built a straight path that dead-ended, so the pinball would crush you, but NO.  He made CORNERS so you could DODGE the pinball, and then wired the pinball into his electric piano so he could make the pinball chase you AROUND THE CORNERS.

And THEN.  Despite the fact that the pinball can chase you around the corners, he makes it smash DIRECTLY THROUGH THE WALLS.  Of HIS labyrinth that HE built.  How much did this elaborate death machine cost you, Pilaf.  How many workers, how many hours of labor.  How many of those walls were structurally important in holding up the rest of your castle.

And THEN.  And THEN, he’s not done, NO.  He built a STAIRCASE made of GIANT DOMINOES, so you could run down it while the pinball chases you down and knocks over the dominoes behind you, BUT, and this is important, NOT ACTUALLY FAST ENOUGH for the cascade effect to catch up with you on the staircase, PURELY for the intimidation factor of making you do this.

And the staircase is set up so that the pinball can’t follow you into the next room, purely so that you’ll think you’re safe before a curtain dramatically pulls back to reveal ANOTHER PINBALL, for which he set up STRATEGICALLY PLACED SPOTLIGHTS

Which FINALLY leads you to a dead end where the pinball can crush you, you know, instead of putting it RIGHT AT THE BEGINNING AND KILLING YOUR ENEMIES WHILE AT THE SAME TIME SAVING YOURSELF MILLIONS OF DOLLARS WORTH OF EVIL LAIR DESIGN.

But does it kill you there?  No.  It traps you BACK IN THE EXACT ROOM YOU STARTED IN.  That was the twist all along.  This was never a deathtrap, it was just an overly elaborate Rube Goldberg device to stick them back in their cage.  Which… he has mechanical arms rigged around his base for.  He could have snatched them up and dumped them in here at any time, and he chose all of THIS because…

because it’s friggin awesome and he knows it

HEY GUYS IT’S A FULL MOON TONIGHT HAVE WE MENTIONED IT’S A FULL MOON TONIGHT??

THAT SURE WON’T BE IMPORTANT LATER

Ok but joking aside, can we appreciate how LUCKY our little cast of characters was that they timed this out the way they did?  Not just because it’ll save the day and help them defeat Pilaf at the last second, but because… well imagine if they’d taken just a few days longer to get here, and had the full moon rise during their road trip.

Just… picture that.  Out of little capsule houses, their RV destroyed, sleeping out in the desert under the stars.  They take turns taking watches; they’ve had bandits come after them before, after all.  Oolong and Bulma fast asleep, unaware, unwarned.

And Goku looks up.

OK YEAH MOVING ON

PILAF’S GONNA RULE THE WORLD, EVERYTHING’S GONNA BE A-OK

Man, I’ve been saying that all episode, thank you Yamcha.

I mean I know it’s not gonna work but somebody at least ought to be trying.

Also, Goku doesn’t know you know he knows that attack.  Is anybody gonna question that, or…?

“Goku.  Listen to me.  STEALTH.  GOD.”

“That doesn’t answer my question but okay.”

Wow.  That… actually worked!  I was expecting it to just ricochet off the walls or something because this is apparently the strongest brick known to man, but no, apparently this is just regular brick.  You know you could just do that attack about two or three more times and make the hole big enough to climb out of.

More creative use of shapeshifting powers, back when characters other than Goku were useful in this show.

Bulma if you make him do that in this tiny enclosed space, you’re all gonna have to smell it.

Batpig is cute.

DID WE MENTION THAT IT IS THE FULL MOON

Oh please let him have this.

I am legitimately sad that this episode is over, I was really getting into this.  So much hype for the giant monkeys.

So, will our hero Pilaf get his wish?  No!  But we’ll have to watch him fail next time we liveblog Dragon Ball!

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Good Burger: The Epitome of Nostalgia TRASH

*CRACK fzzzzzz SLURP* Can you taste the nostalgia? Remember how great Good Burger was? What a classic comedy movie! I love buddy comedies, don’t you? Good Burger is the absolute perfect example of nostalgia TRASH. If you think of it in your mind, you can remember great things, but don’t look too close! The reality is empty and pathetic. Not only is Good Burger terrible, it serves as the perfect metaphor for the separation between adult and kid comedy. It is the beginning of that horrible Disney comedy we see running rampant today. Worst of all it assumes all children are stupid and by the ratings, maybe they’re right?

Ed is your typical stoner surfer bro (without the cool characteristics of being a stoner or a surfer) who works at Good Burger, the local burger stand. When Mondo Burger, the flashy, sexy, bigger burger shop opens up across the street it’s up to Ed and his new friend Dexter to scheme a way to stay in business and destroy Mondo Burger.

The main character and the person that holds the whole movie together is the key to why this movie is so bad. Kel Mitchel plays Ed in a complete Bill and Ted rip off. He wants to be Keanu Reeves so bad. Unfortunately the writing makes Ed less of a “dumb guy with a heart of gold and smart at the most wacky moments” and more of a special ed student that can barely get by without a caretaker. They wrote Ed to be so brainless the only way to put thoughts into his head is by screaming them slowly. If you talk too fast he literally short circuits. He will steal a baby from a screaming mother and shrug it off. 

That's why this character doesn’t work. There’s a scene where he helps a psychopath get out of a straight jacket and murder a woman. He has no emotion or reaction about it. He doesn’t care or seem to even know what is happening in front of his eyes. His character has no soul. If Bill and Ted helped someone murder a woman you can picture their reaction based on their character. They would act chivalrous, stand up and “make things right!” or “avenge her death!” Ed is so beyond motivation he plays a complete asexual. Beautiful women throw themselves at him and he actually beats them up in response (one girl he put in a neck brace and two casts for trying to kiss him). It comes off as really sad.

The creators of Good Burger don’t seem to understand what’s funny about a dumb character. Making someone as dumb as humanly possible could work, but the character needs to have some morals or motivation. Something to live by or a reason for existing. When we don’t get that we have nothing to latch onto but wacky dialogue and a pretty face (which can go along way for children.) Butters on South Park is a perfect example. He’s not smart but I could make a laundry list of his morals, motivations, reactions and feelings on life. Ed is dumb and likes putting food in his nose before he eats it.

Before this point comedy movies for kids could mostly be enjoyed by adults. That’s because when someone made a comedy movie they made it without assuming kids are stupid. They made the characters and the story make sense. They gave people motivation. At some point things changed and the kids movies made less sense, had terrible characters and the acting spiraled out of control (the directing is probably to blame).

They stopped respecting the kids. The sad part is the kids ate it up.

Turns out if you have pretty people being wacky it doesn’t really matter what anyone's motivations are or how evil the characters act. Kids (and stupid people in general) will watch it. Just look at Big Bang Theory! Once they realized they didn’t need to try hard or make anything actually good it’s like they unlocked the stupid code and let the kids take over. Shows like iCarly, Zoey 101, Drake and Josh, and The Amanda Show were just a few of the mindless kids garbage all made by the same creator, Dan Schneider.

Good Burger is actually a metaphor for this realization that Schneider had. See, Ed represents brainless humor without any reason or motivation. Good Burger is the project that uses that dumb humor as a way to make money. Mondo Burger represents actual great children's comedy with motivations and character that aren’t heartless jerks. See, everyone goes to Mondo Burger because their burgers are way bigger aka they have more meat = SUBSTANCE. Ed convinces people to come back to Good Burger with his special sauce, which is just putting sugar on the meat AKA empty meaningless garbage. But how does Mondo make their burgers so big? With science AKA intelligence. Ed’s “best friend” Dexter is a metaphor for Dan Schneider himself. The first thing Dexter does is see how stupid Ed is and forces him to sign a contract where Dexter gets all the money off eds creation (the sauce). I assume that was Schneider’s first instinct. These kids are stupid I could just rip them off, pay my debts and bounce. Then he realized how much more money he could make if he just gave in to the stupidity and worked with it. Much like Dexter does in the movie. 

If you watch the trailer for Good Burger you’ll notice the few things that are great about the movie. It’s shot on film and looks beautiful. The production design is fantastic, there’s an awesome burger car and Mondo Burger is a sight to see. I think that’s another reason Good Burger is perfect nostalgia trash. You can watch parts online and think it’s good. When I started watching the movie I got worried, “oh shit, is Good Burger good?” It only takes about 15 minutes for the illusion of the pretty faces and sets to wash away and for you to realize, much like fast food, there’s no nutrition here. There’s no meat. It’s all sauce. 

Good Burger ushered in a new wave of the worst kids entertainment we’ve ever seen. It proved that you don’t have to be smart to make kids shows and kids will watch anything with a cute face. At the end of the day I mostly feel sorry for the parents. All the poor parents of the world that are forced to watch this shit a thousand times over and experience their children getting stupider by the minute. The dumb revolution has been waged and the idiots have won.